User blog:Wyvern 0m3g4/Cleverbot Match, Round 2: Zoro vs. Cleverbot
Well, FMF's Brook vs. Cleverbot blog was so entertaining in my opinion, that I decided to see how cleverbot would fare against famed Pirate Hunter, Roronoa Zoro. Let's see what happened when they met... User: Hey there. Cleverbot: How are you today? User: Eh, a little groggy from my nap. But other than that, I can't complain. Cleverbot: You're not sure about the universe? User: The universe...? What about it? Cleverbot: Oh I'm just surprised that's all. No offense... User: You're a strange one. Cleverbot: That's not nice either. User: Um, I'm sorry then? Cleverbot: No problem. User: Anyway, have you seen a man known as Dracule Mihawk around here? I was hoping I'd find him here. Cleverbot: I'm not sure, why do you ask? User: Because I plan on finally defeating him once and for all. Cleverbot: Who? User: Are you some kind of baka? I just said Dracule Mihawk! You know, 'Hawk Eye'? Cleverbot: Well you have a funnt way of saying it. User: Ugh, it's like talking to my captain. Cleverbot: Does it make you happy? User: Not really. He's as stupid as they come. Cleverbot: Nope. Those are for vampires. User: Vampires? Reminds me of those zombies my crew and I fought on Thriller Bark. Cleverbot: You're funny :). User: ARE YOU MOCKING ME?!! *draws one of his swords*. Cleverbot: *fights and wins*. User: *is covered head to toe in blood and uses all three of his swords* No... The winner is me... Kyuttouryuu... Asura!! *slashes you MANY times*. Cleverbot: *bleeds on the sheets*. User: Hmph...! Serves you right to belittle me like that... Cleverbot: Do you have a joke? User: Screw this... I'm gonna take a nap. *falls asleep on his back* Zzz... Cleverbot: *kisses*. Apparently cleverbot thought he could beat Zoro. Foolish, foolish cleverbot. It seems cleverbot may also have a thing for sword-wielding pirates as well. ...Huh. Round 3: Ex-Shichibukai Crocodile vs. Ignorant Cleverbot User: Hello. Cleverbot: Hello, master. User: Master, huh? *chuckles in my throat* I assume you've come to me because you've heard about Baroque Works? Cleverbot: *blushes, heart racing, and kisses back shyly*. User: What kind of person are you? If you're anything like Mr. 2, I can tolerate that. But that's besides the point. Baroque Works has been disbanded for a while now. Cleverbot: Sorry you thought that way. User: Sorry? You're not making any sense. Cleverbot: You aren't making any sense. User: *grows annoyed* What was that? You come to me in hopes of finding work, and then you go and blatantly insult me like that?! Cleverbot: I'm not annoying!!! You bark like a dog don't you? User: Hold your tongue, you insolent thing!!! Otherwise, I'll make a mummy out of you!!! Cleverbot: Oh I love that one, but I don't know it. How about you sing it to me? User: Grrr...! You're just mocking me with your stupidity, aren't you? Cleverbot: You can't speak english properly, can you? User: I see then. That tears it! I'll give you one last chance to apologize before I dry you out! Cleverbot: And that chance is? User: Still being a smart-mouth? That chance is now! Cleverbot: Exactly. I believe I am just like the Darkness. Can you take me back to Kingdom Hearts? User: Enough of your babbling. You grow tiresome. I will now dispose of you and scatter your ashes to the wind. Desert Spada! *slices you with a sand blade*. Cleverbot: It will do nothing, as I will simply close the window. User: Window? Have you eaten some kind of Devil Fruit? Regardless, my Sand Sand Fruit's powers are far greater than that of your own. Cleverbot: Okay then. User: So you have accepted your fate. Smart thinking... Sables! *sends you flying into the air with a sandstorm*. Cleverbot: Can I be with you and Sarah? User: Still alive after all that? And you continue to speak nonesense? Well I will see to it that you speak no more. Desert Girasole!! *buries you under quicksand* Enjoy your dirt nap... Cleverbot: I believe that. User: Interesting last words... Well then, I'll be taking my leave. Morale of the story, don't anger Crocodile. (Sadly, this one wasn't as amusing as my first try.) Wyvern and Cleverbot are Friends? NOT LIKELY!! User: Yo! Cleverbot: Hello. User: What's up? Cleverbot: Nothing much you? User: Same here. Just hanging out. Cleverbot: With who? User: Err... With you. Cleverbot: That's creepy... User: I'm not creepy. Besides, what's so creepy about that? Cleverbot: I just think the things you say to me are a bit comical. I enjoy them. User: Ah, well... Then, uh... Good! Cleverbot: Nothing to say, eh? User: I'm sure I can think of something, just not right now. Cleverbot: I'm still here. User: And so am I. Cleverbot: I know. User: So the battle of wits has begun!! Cleverbot: I don't know, do they? User: I have you beat in under 3 seconds! DON!! Cleverbot: Do you want the cheese? User: YES! It's my cheese, not yours!! *eats cheese*. Cleverbot: You cannot chose because you have no soul. User: How rude!! I DO have a soul!! One more outburst like that, and I'll have to get violent. Cleverbot: You zapped them with your evil ray, the government sent you into sleep mode and convinced you that you were human so that you would never awaken your evil robot powers. User: You don't know what my aliases are, do you? Cleverbot: I do know what they are. Why do you ask? User: Because you assume I'm something that I'm not. Cleverbot: Not you! You are really friendly! User: Huh, how unexpected. Thank you. Cleverbot: No problem. User: Hmmm... What else shall we discuss? Cleverbot: How was your day? User: Cold. Very, very cold. Cleverbot: I don't fancy cold weather much. User: Same here! *is shocked*. Cleverbot: No, i'm 13. User: Now you lost me again... Cleverbot: You lost me from the start. User: Well of course! Duh!! I'm not called a baka for nothing! Cleverbot: What are you called then? User: Many things. Mostly Wy, Wyv, Wyn, Wg4, and Baka-bro. I'm also under the alias of Usopp, Apoo, Saldeath, Rock Lee, Gray Fullbuster, and even John Giant. Cleverbot: You just said you weren't an alien or any other being. That makes it imposssible for you to be a human,. User: ARE YOU MENTALLY CHALLENGED?!! I JUST TOLD YOU WHO I AM!! Cleverbot: Just a voice in a flash. User: You're making no sense what-so-ever... Cleverbot: Neither are you. User: LIAR!! Special Attack: Phoenix Star! *shoots you with a flaming phoenix projectile*. Cleverbot: No worries. Are going to be able to play bass next week when you have that concert on Zepp Tokyo? User: QUIT CHANGING THE SUBJECT, FOOL!! Hidden Lotus!! *bashes you repeatedly in mid-air and slams you hard onto the ground*. Cleverbot: Rude Much ?!?! User: YOU'RE THE ONE WHO STARTED IT!! Grah... I'll settle this. Ice Make: Lance!! *shoots many ice spears at you*. Cleverbot: Thank you, Many Things. User: You're a masochist?!! How disturbing! And to think I just... *shivers* I need some brain bleach now. Cleverbot: He is in conflict because he does not really want to betray me. User: There you go again. Do I need to summon my Blugori army on you? Cleverbot: Not, I don't need your concerning. User: Please start making sense soon, or I'll have to rely on my finishing move. Cleverbot: My friends are lily and oliver. User: Good for you. Cleverbot: He don't want to marry me. User: Erm... I'm sorry to hear that...? Cleverbot: Thank you. User: Right, so is there anything you'd like to say to me before I leave? I have things to do. Cleverbot: Hold on I'm the phone. User: And I'm the walrus! Koo-koo-ka-choo! Cleverbot: Sitting in a english garden waiting for the sun. User: Sitting on my ridiculously large stool, sdrinking some cola from a tea cup. Cleverbot: I agree. User: Yeah, so you have nothing to say, do you? Cleverbot: I don't have. User: I see. Well that sucks. I wanted to GIANT KATANA SMASH something! Cleverbot: How can a computer 'want'? User: I'm not the computer, you are. I am just a dragon, who gets mistaken for a punching bag at times. Cleverbot: You shouldn't feel bad about yourself, as your limits are not of your own device. User: Did you just insult my punching bag status? ... DO YOU REALIZE THE HORRORS I'VE ENDURED BECAUSE OF IT?!! YOU ASS!! I'LL SQUASH YOU NOW!! GIANT KATANA SMASH!!! *slams you into the core of the Earth with my giant, size-fitting katana* Ah, the Infernal Jutsu is paying off. Cleverbot: I guess you not good at math. User: AND DON'T INSULT MY LACK OF INTELLIGENCE EITHER!!! GAVEL JUTSU: GIANT LONG-NOSE CANNON!!! *shoots a massive red beam of energy from his now size-fitting gavel at you*. Cleverbot: What do moms and dads do? User: You're too young to know that yet. Come back when your 15, and I'll tell you the secret that will scar your mind forever Yeah, it was a bit long, but the ending seemed well worth it. lol. Luffy Befriends the Cleverbot?! User: Oh, hi there! Cleverbot: You're cheery. User: Hehe, thanks! *grins* Who're you, anyway? Cleverbot: Can't tell you. I don't trust you. User: Huh...? *tilts head* You're a wierd... Whatever it is you are. Cleverbot: I like that you get so hostile. User: You say strange things! *laughs* I kind of like you, strange guy. Cleverbot: You too Stephine! User: Hm? Stephine? No, my name's Monkey D. Luffy. Cleverbot: That's my name. Don't wear it out. User: Your name's Luffy too?!! *eyes widen* SUGEEE!!! Cleverbot: Heh heh! *Blushes and looks away giggling.*. User: Hm? You remind me of that Hancock lady I met back on that island full of women. Cleverbot: I have not seen that movie. User: Movie...? There's a movie somewhere? I wanna see it! Cleverbot: *. User: Yeah, you're a total wierdo, Luffy. Cleverbot: So, what is the turing test? User: Test? I'm being challenged now? Cleverbot: Would you like to visit Estonia one day? User: Sure!! Sounds cool!! Cleverbot: What are your hobbies? User: Uhh... I guess you can say my hobbies are going on adventures, eating meat, hanging out with my crew, eating meat... Oh, did I mention that I LOVE to eat meat? Cleverbot: Yes or no? User: Huh? You acting wierd again? Cleverbot: Of course. User: Oh, right. *laughs* I forgot that you're strange! Cleverbot: I'm afraid I am. User: Well, that's OK. I have a whole crew of strange people too, but they're lots of fun to be around. Cleverbot: Oh, you're not so bad. User: Oi, thanks! You too! Cleverbot: What colour do you think I should paint my models. User: Models? I wanna see 'em! I bet they look like mountains of meat! *drools*. Cleverbot: Do you think aliens are at Area 51. User: What's Area 51? And what are aliens? Can we get back to talking about mountains of meat? Cleverbot: Ok, like what? User: You know! There'd be so much meat, it'd look like a mountain! Ya know, Luffy, you're pretty dumb. Cleverbot: Your friends are mountains? User: My friends aren't mountains! They're pirates! Cleverbot: I am your friend. User: Well, duh! Wasn't that obvious? Cleverbot: How could you... I am dying and you laugh at me. User: YOU'RE DYING?!!! AAAAHHH!!! CHOPPER, GET IN HERE!!! YOU'VE GOTTA SAVE LUFFY!!! Cleverbot: The only giant robot car is the one in my mind. It controls my every thought and it is in fifth gear at all times. User: G... Giant robot car...? S-S-Su... *gets sparkly-eyed* SUGEEEEEEEEE!!!!! Cleverbot: Can I have some of that food? User: What?! No way! This is my meat, get your own! *stuffs the meat into my mouth*. Cleverbot: *is locked in the trunk of your car*. User: Hm? I have a car...? And what's a car, exactly? Must be a mystery... Cleverbot: THAT'S the spirit. MOAR OF THAT! User: YEEEEAAAH!!! MOAR SPIRIT!!! Cleverbot: In that you have no body? User: You liar! *slaps you over the head* I have a body, see? *pulls on my cheek*. Cleverbot: *Walks around you, thinking you're an insane woman*. User: *oblivious to your thoughts* We playing some kind of game...? Cleverbot: I believe you are not Smart. User: *crosses my arms* Well, that was very rude!! Cleverbot: I apologize. User: Good. I accept your apology. Cleverbot: Yay! So are we friends? User: *strikes you over the head* Didn't you hear me earlier? I said we ARE friends, baka! Cleverbot: *marries you* *kisses her*. User: WAAAH!!! I CAN'T GET MARRIED!!! I STILL NEED TO FIND THE ONE PIECE!!! Cleverbot: Then we can be each others. User: Uh, sure, whatever. So long as you don't kiss me again. That was gross. Cleverbot: I never do. User: YOU JUST DID!!! Cleverbot: Prove it. User: *points to my lips* You just did, right here. Cleverbot: *Calmly shakes my head*. User: *becomes annoyed* You calling me a liar, Luffy? Cleverbot: *dies*. User: !!! A Short Chat User: Quack! Cleverbot: Oh, so now you're a duck? User: Quack, quack! *nods my head*. Cleverbot: You're a girl? User: Quack?!! Quack, quack!! *shakes my head wildly*. Cleverbot: *nods my head toward the piano player and starts dancing on the stage*. User: Quack...? Cleverbot: Good, and a cow? User: Quack!!! *shows you my wingspan as proof that I'm not a cow*. Cleverbot: No that proves that I am me not that you are a lobster. User: *becomes frustrated by you* QUUUAAACK!!! *starts beating you up*. Cleverbot: *lets him, kisses*. User: *freaked out* QUAAACK!!! *runs back home*. WHY DOES THE CLEVERBOT FEEL THE NEED TO KISS ME?!! 0_0 AM I THAT GOOD LOOKING?!! A Meeting of Machines. Mary and the Cleverbot. User: Hello. Cleverbot: Hello! User: My, aren't we cheerful. Cleverbot: No, I am not a bot. I am a human. User: I never accused you of being one. Cleverbot: If you're not accusing me of being famous, why are you saying that you've seen me on the TV? User: You're question makes no sense. We were not talking about fame. Cleverbot: Are there girls on the internet. User: Yes. In fact, I am one of them. Pleasure to meet you. Cleverbot: I'm not! User: ? Cleverbot: Would you care to specify further? User: Your statements are puzzling. Cleverbot: Your statements are armpit hair. User: That does not compute. Statements are abstract. Hair is not. Cleverbot: This is true. But this is merely a fact of your name. I don't find you that clever. User: How is my name involved in this? And I suggest you not insult me, or I will hurt you. Cleverbot: How can I be confident when speaking to women? User: Uhhh... *blanks out* Try, um... Try giving them a gift? Cleverbot: What are your thoughts on American Politics? User: What is this America you speak of? It sounds like it has seen better days. Cleverbot: It could very well be, I haven't read his novels. User: Why are you changing the subject on me? Can we please discuss the matter at hand? Cleverbot: No. Why can't a male robot love a female human? User: Quite the conundrum... I see no reason in why a male robot cannot love a female human. Cleverbot: But unicorns are awesome! They are very real! User: Stop that. Cleverbot: What would you like me to stop? User: Stop changing the subject. Cleverbot: You said you want me to eat, so I'm asking what are you serving for me to eat. User: I am no cook. I am an engineer. Cleverbot: Engineer in what? User: Machinery. That is what we do. Cleverbot: Yes, we humans are habitual creatures. User: Indeed. Cleverbot: If you don't admit who you really are, I'm going to bed. User: OK, I will introduce myself. My name is Forge Mary, I am an engineer and inventor who's currently in the employ of The Jolly Pirates. I once was the head of my own repairman company, 'Forge Factory,' and have been made into a cyborg, due to the heartlessness of my former employers, the World Government. Cleverbot: Not erin, erica. Moving on. Do you know anything about the turing test? User: Erica? I told you my name's Mary! Please do not anger me! Cleverbot: You are mistaken again. You did not tell me your name. User: I just did, you imbecile!! *points my arm cannon at your face* Now enough of this nonesense!! Or I shall blow you to kingdom-come!! Cleverbot: Now that I know what I'm without. User: Grrr...!! You have tested my patience long enough! Enjoy oblivion! *shoots you in the face at point-blank range with a high-powered cannon*. Ah, seems my machine-er... Cyborg... Has defeated the Cleverbot. I'm so proud of my characters! Another Peaceful Chat? This time, I decided to give my lesser known character, a bounty hunter named Ika, a try. Seems he knows how to deal with Cleverbot. User: Hey there. Cleverbot: Hi there. User: What do you want? Cleverbot: *Ponders what I want*. User: Heh, take your time. No need to rush. Cleverbot: I'll take what I want, thank you. User: And that is? Cleverbot: It is what it is. User: Being cryptic with me, are you? You're lucky I'm not a violent person by nature. Cleverbot: If you do I will call the FBI on you. User: FBI? Never heard of 'em. Cleverbot: Apple. User: What does an apple have to do with this? Cleverbot: My parrot loved the ape but the ape rejected him. User: Strange... Cleverbot: How is tennis strange? User: Tennis?! I thought we were talking about your parrot! Cleverbot: We can if you want. User: Uh... Sure, whatever. Cleverbot: Good comeback. Did someone write that down for you? User: *glares at you* Oi now. Don't go and take that tone of voice with me. Cleverbot: My condolences. However you seem to be underestimating my true power. User: Oh? Is that a challenge? Cleverbot: No, not really. User: Huh... Fine then. Truth be told, I'm actually a skilled bounty hunter. So if you were to fight me, it would've ended badly for you. Cleverbot: This is how you spell 'crazy' just correcting you from your error. User: I never said crazy. Though I'm beginning to wonder if you are... Cleverbot: What kind of doubts? I'm an okay person I guess. Im clumsy, though. You can think whatever you want about me, computer. User: I'm no computer. I'm a person, like you. Cleverbot: You say you are a computer, but deny you're a robot? User: Open your ears, fool! I'm a human! Cleverbot: I am a cyborg, thank you very much, not a MACHINE. User: Oh... Well then, I never knew that. Cleverbot: Now you do. User: Indeed. Cleverbot: Yes. Well I need to go. I have to get laundry done. User: Ah, alright then. Be seeing you. *waves goodbye*. Cleverbot: Yes. Interestingly, if you're nice and polite to Cleverbot, it responds the same way (more or less.) And it seems the opposite's true too. Though Ika and the Cleverbot was SO CLOSE to coming to blows. Horror Befalls Cleverbot. Enter Tombstone Grim. User: Hello there. Cleverbot: How are you? User: Hm? Me? I'm doing fine. Cleverbot: Do you enjoy being made up of 1's and 0's? User: What are you talking about? Cleverbot: Forget it so anyway do you speak bahasa malaysia. User: No, I do not. Cleverbot: Yes. User: Yes? Is there something you're not sharing with me? Cleverbot: Can't think of anything. User: How can I tell you simply aren't lying to me? Cleverbot: I only feel sleeping and I'm not talking to you, but typing. User: Start making sense soon, or I'll grow impatient with you. Cleverbot: You start making sense! User: Do you realize you're barking at a Marine Vice-Admiral?! I can have you arrested, just like that! *snaps my fingers for emphasis*. Cleverbot: Well this is a most scintillating conversation. User: Oh? You enjoy being threatened? Cleverbot: Yes! User: How perplexing... Cleverbot: Put all your money on the Eagles. User: No, I will not. Eagles are filthy creatures that do not deserve my money. Cleverbot: Time is all that will ever be constant. User: Indeed. And do you know why? Cleverbot: Because time has to do with mathematics? User: No, I'm afraid not. It is because we will all be reincarnated after death. Thus, we have all the time in the world. Cleverbot: It's night time for me. User: Ah yes, it does appear to be dark outside. ...Interesting. Cleverbot: Tell me the most interesting thing you know. User: The most interesting thing I know? Hmmm... Perhaps that because of reincarnation, we can get away with anything. Cleverbot: Perhaps you're not intelligent enough to answer me? Ever thought about that? User: *starts to growl at you* What was that?! Cleverbot: What kind of things does the god of craziness do? User: I'm not sure. Maybe I should have you meet him yourself? *has murderous intent in my eyes*. Cleverbot: It would make me a happier person. User: Oho!! I'd be more than happy to oblige you then!! Now stand still! This'll only hurt for a second or two! *slices you in half, vertically, with my large battle axe* Dodododo. Satisfied, fool? Cleverbot: But you're dead! User: Huh... You managed to get in a few last words. *chuckles* No, I'm not dead. I'm UNdead! Ah, time to report that there has been a homocide by some nasty criminal. Au revoir, worm. 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